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Super August 2021

Bachelorette Planning... Disappointed

Wendy, on February 10, 2020 at 2:28 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 10

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Hey so I need to vet because I’m pretty upset now..

My wedding is August 8, 2020.
So I am having a DW in Cancún and I decided to have some bridesmaids and a MOH.. My sister is my MOH, who is 16th.. I made my sister in law my Matron of Honor (regretting that now), my other sister in law and my 3
2 HS bffs have been supper excited about everything related to the wedding.. They asked me if I wanted a bachelorette party and I basically said if they were down then we should plan something.. I’m originally from Vegas so everyone is over there which makes it easier if I’m the one who flies out.
I also decided to invite 2 additional friends, one can’t make it to the wedding for personal reasons.
Well since the day is getting closer I sent a group txt asking what was the plan.. my 2 BFF’s asked what I wanted to do. And since no one was joining the conversation we made it a 3 group text instead. Long story short we agreed on Plan A: go on a weekend road trip to Cali, Disneyland, beach. Come back and go to a club, some type of adult show and a spa day.
Or Plan B: Shooting range, paint ball, strip clubs or the Magic Mike show, pool party, happy hour and then spa day.
Well I sent everyone a message letting them know the options and to vote since I’m trying to keep everyone’s budget into consideration and whoever can’t make it to let me Know so we could plan accordingly. Well I go no response! Except for my 2 BFF’s... not even my sister!!!! So I tried to keep it cool but ultimately I lost it on my sister 2 days later because she hasn’t been involved in anything whatsoever... her excuse is because she’s not 21 she doesn’t have a vote smh! I told her if I included her on the texts is because I expect her to voice her opinion.. I didn’t go off on anyone else. I just waited for their response. anyways eventually everyone said the Cali trip was fine.. my Matron of Honor never replied..
Well today I txted everyone to see when we should start buying the Disneyland tickets and to confirm because I was trying to get a discount so I needed to know how many tickets for sure...
Well my third HS friend said she had something coming up so she wasn’t going to be able to go but she could meet for lunch in Vegas... I said “uhm ok” which I’m very upset and hurt because she’s supposed to be my best friend and now she can’t make it because of whatever reason! I didn’t even asked so that’s that.. my 2 BFF’s are still super exited.. my sister in law (bridesmaid) said she was down.. so basically 3 of my friends out of the 7th said they’re still down.. everyone else backed out.
So now I’m just like whatever.. I’m honestly at the point of why am I even trying to go to Vegas then.. spend all this money for no reason and no one can make it to anything..
What would you do?? Do it with my 2BFF’s, my sister and my sister in law? So it’ll be 4 of them total.. or just save the money and use it for some excursions in Cancun ?

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Latest activity by Amanda, on February 11, 2020 at 8:20 AM

VIP September 2020
Neeva · on February 10, 2020 at 2:33 PM
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Unfortunately not everyone can make it to these events and people bow out for different reasons- lack of funds, lack of planning etc. It would be nice if they didn't commit and then back out but whatever.
I would say to cut your losses and move forward with having a trip with the girls who are able to make it and down with the plan y'all decided on.
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Super August 2021
Wendy · on February 10, 2020 at 2:35 PM
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!!! Thank you !! That’s what they told me too..
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Dedicated August 2020
Carlette · on February 10, 2020 at 2:41 PM
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I would say continue with those who can attend. I know that people backing out is upsetting, but try not to let that spoil your trip. However, if you think that you won't have a good time because you will be thinking about the people who aren't there, then cancel it. You wouldn't want to ruin the experience for those who are there.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on February 10, 2020 at 2:47 PM
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I would honestly never even ask someone to pay for a trip for my bachelorette when they’re already traveling for my destination wedding. You’re asking a lot of people.
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Super August 2021
Wendy · on February 10, 2020 at 2:54 PM
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Ok that makes sense.. thank you
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VIP February 2020
Lauren · on February 10, 2020 at 3:59 PM
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I did my bachelorette party in my hometown where most of my bridesmaids live because more people were going to be able to go that way (I originally wanted it in a city about 2 hours from my hometown & 4 hours from where I live). My sister-in-laws couldn't come to some things because they have babies, and my cousin (also a bridesmaid) had to work for most of the bachelorette weekend. I had 4 girls attend everything (and were sometimes the only ones there). One was my Matron of Honor, one was my Maid of Honor, and two of them were really close friends that weren't part of the bridal party. It was honestly still really fun with only 4 other people there for several things!
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 10, 2020 at 4:55 PM
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I know it's frustrating but sometimes even bridal party members cannot attend these events because for them it may be too much money. I don't want to sound rude. But if it is a financial reason or a personal reason they have the right to back out in that case. I will just honestly go with whoever can go and make the best of it. Don't spend time focusing on who cannot go and have a bad mindset about the trip because it'll be fine regardless. Also in regards to your little sister. She's 16 years old. I just told another bride who has some of her fiance's sisters. In her wedding party and how they are taking forever to get bridesmaids dresses that teenagers don't think about those things. Honestly. If I were sixteen years old and in a group chat with a bunch of grown woman, I probably would feel awkward answering as well. Teenagers mindsets are different and they don't have experiences with weddings so I can see where she was coming from. . But maybe you need to sit down with her and let her know what you do expect from her so she can be aware. Let's be realistic all of our first time as a bridesmaid. We probably did not know what we were doing. I would go ahead and save the money on Vegas only if you want to but if you do want to have a good time in Vegas, then why not go even if it is just only for girls?
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Devoted December 2020
Rachel · on February 10, 2020 at 4:56 PM
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I understand it’s upsetting to have people back out on plans, but things come up and plans can change. I’m a bridesmaid for a wedding this summer and I had to back out on the bachelorette party (still several months in advance) because it’s too much for pay for a bachelorette trip AND the wedding weekend within 4 weeks of each other. Plus I’m trying to save $$ for my own wedding as well as my usual bills. I really want to go because I don’t like upsetting anyone or making them feel like they aren’t important enough to go on a bachelorette trip, but it’s also important that I keep my finances in check!
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on February 10, 2020 at 6:33 PM
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Sorry people backed out. We live in So Cal and Disney has been a pretty big part of our lives, but I'd feel like traveling to So Cal from Vegas, whether by car (4 hours each way, if you're lucky) or flying (with airport check-in, probably almost 4 hrs each way), spending at least a day at Disney (with tickets, well over $100 pp), then a beach visit, then traveling back to Vegas to do stuff there too, seems like a major trip/time commitment and could quickly add up in terms of cost. I don't know your friends'/family's financial situation or vacation time availability, but those plans might seem a bit overwhelming. Did someone check in with all the invitees to get their input on cost/length of whatever activities they were comfortable with? If people are bailing, I might reconsider and just do something simple where they are all located (Vegas, if I understand correctly?). There might be big differences in expectations that are creating problems. Especially with a DW they've likely already made a pretty big commitment to be part of the wedding. Anything but the simplest dinner and a bar bachelorette might be too much. Good luck figuring it out.
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VIP December 2020
Amanda · on February 11, 2020 at 8:20 AM
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AGREED.
I would say you have an excursion with your party in Mexico and skip having a destination Bachelorette on top of the cost of a DW.
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Bachelorette Planning... Disappointed

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