Bachelorette party- awkward

I think that you should put your own feelings aside and do it for your daughter. If the stepmom is willing to have you at her house despite your differences and you decline, you're the one that's going to look immature.

I would do it if I were you. I mean... You can put aside your differences for a day ya know? Especially to support her and have more memories with her that day.
But if you absolutely cannot then I'd tell her you'll make it up to her by doing a separate outing with her.

Surely you can set aside your feelings and get along with the woman for one night. Please don’t do that to your daughter.

I’m a daughter in this exact situation. I wish my mom could have just come for me, but she made up an excuse about her work schedule. If you really don’t want to go, tell her you’re just not comfortable and you hope she understands.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. As a bride who has been on the other side of this, put your relationship with the stepmom aside and suck it up. You don’t need to stay the whole time. Make an appearance, give your daughter a hug, thank the stepmom for hosting, and leave when there’s a good break.

View Quoted Comment This, it’s about your daughter, not your feelings about the other woman. Set it aside for the day.

This may sound harsh, but that day isn't about you or the stepmom. It is about your daughter. It sounds like the stepmom is being mature and putting her feelings aside by welcoming you into her home. I think you need to put your feelings aside so you can be there to celebrate with your daughter otherwise you are going to cause a lot of hurt feelings. If I were your daughter, I would be extremely hurt that you are putting your personal feelings above mine. You were invited because your daughter wants you there and I am sure you would like to spend this time with her. Even if it wasn't at the stepmom's house she would probably still be invited so you'd have to be around her anyways.

I would attend, it would really mean alot to your daughter. You will only be there for a few hours. Do it for your daughter