Asking for down payment for house instead of gifts

I don’t think you are going to get that here, you know how this will go. I suggest checking back in with the people that you have asked about it that have you the go ahead and see what they can come up with. Good luck!

I prefer the ease of giving money bc all I have to do is stick it in an envelope. Bothering with a “fund” seems like an annoying middle man. People will gift cash without a poem.

Please reconsider.

You already know it's rude to ask for cash, and you're going to do it anyway? Having a cute (read cringe worthy) poem doesn't give you a pass on rudeness.

People who prefer the ease of giving money, will do so. They already know how. Put cash or check in an envelope. Bring to wedding. Place in card box.

If you want cash, as you have read a hundred times, just don't register. People will know you prefer cash. Those who can't figure it out will ask and you can tell them "We are saving for a down payment".

You can't tell people how to post. There is no cute poem that will make this any less tacky. Also, people tend to give more generously if they aren't 'told' to give cash.

Also, if you plan to use large gifts as a downpayment on your house, be prepared to ask everyone who gives you cash for a 'gift letter' stating that they gave you that money for that purpose. Not all banks require this, but some do. They're going to wonder how you got this large sum of cash.

Just don't register for anything and people will give you money. Let a few key people know that you are saving for a house and would prefer money. When people ask for instance parents and bridal party what to get you they can answer with they are saying for a house just give them money. It worked for us.

Won't the bank/loan officers scrutinized where the money came from? I agree with the above "ease of giving money".
I received cash gifts from my guests without a poem. Maybe put "monetary gifts preferred"?

First off, not a fan. As much as I tried to get behind the idea, I just couldn't. Just not registering does the same thing without directly asking.
But I have been sent a poem in an invitation once. Something along the lines of We Have the pots we have the pans. (Rhyming lines in-between) Gift of your presence is all we ask. But if you insist on a gift please bring cash.
Totally off-putting. But she said she found the poem online.

I would just not register. People will get the hint.

I highly suggest putting together a small registry. We want money too, we have a house and projects we want to complete so money is more applicable to us. However, we understand that some people don’t have a whole lot of spare money to give so having a cutting board or a vase on your registry will allow them to give you a gift under 30$ without embarrassing them. I know if you’re like me, I don’t care if they gift or give me anything at all let alone the amt. but as a guest, it makes me uncomfortable (sometimes) to give money when I really didn’t want to spend more than 25$ on the gift.
Example: I’m pretty sure we got a B list invite from FHs friend from college and they have on their invites that they strictly want cash. So I went to their website and the lowest amount you could give was 50$. I don’t care for these people and he hardly does either so I put 20$ in the envelope and sent the rsvp back as a no thanks.

I'm not great at writing poetry, so this is the best I could do.

We don't share the same taste,

Nor need the gift you've chosen in haste,

Save your energy and your time

Wire us cash and not a dime

Come celebrate me and my honey

And don't forget to show us the money!

I would love being told in a thank you card that's where gift money went. Tell your mothers and bridal party (provided you trust them to discrete in the way they tell others) so they can spread the word that you are saving for something, then have a small or no registry. Provided your family isn't particularly hard headed about giving gifts, regardless, you should be fine. I agree, poems and calling things a fund seems juvenile.

We just bought our first home, but we need to do several renovation projects. I put together a small registry and linked it to our wedding website. Then in the comments box above our registries I simply stated "all monetary gifts will be used for the payment and improvement of our home" so people know what it will be used for ahead of time and can use common sense that we'll appreciate cash. It felt like a better option than flat out asking for money.

I agree with what Nas said. For a bank loan, they scrutinize where the down payment came from and if it is from a monetary gift they become hesitant that it wasn’t money you saved. It doesn’t show that you’re responsible with saving and making payments.

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Alex, I really like the way you phrased that. I agree that people like to know what it will be used for, and I've already had some people tell me they would be more inclined to gift money for something significant, like a house, rather than something frivolous. Thank you.

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Nas and Forestwed, I understand what you are saying, but I know several people who have received money from grandparents, or parents, or an inheritance, etc, that they used for a down payment and it was never an issue. If we can get a loan with 0 down payment, or down payment assistance, which we can, then I don't foresee this being an issue. Correct me if I am wrong.

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^^^^^ this.

We need some new furniture, and a few home improvement projects. We simply did a small registry. A few items that we’ll need once we move. We’re not asking for cash, though it would be used for the house. We feel it’s rude, and just awful to use a “cutesy” poem to ask for money. We just simply did a small registry of items we needed.

All our guests will know where the money is going, if they gift us money. If not, that’s alright. As PP said, banks will wonder where the money came from, and if you can afford payments if you can’t even afford down payment without gifts...

You should buy a house with your own savings not from a wedding , people could give you $20,000 in cash from ththe wedding ( I’m stretching with this ) and the Bank will look st your income and accounts and ask where you got this extra cash. The happened to a friend in a similar situation.
make a small registry, don’t ask for cash, if a house was more important than you should have done that first.
You get what you get and you don’t get upset !

Please dont do a fund. These companies take a cut of the money. Just dont register. People will get it. No poem needed.

View Quoted Comment I would be so offended and not get you a present at all if I rec'd this poem. My parents and grandma would die from embarrassment if I sent this