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Mrs. Johnson
Dedicated May 2024

Are my vows enough?

Mrs. Johnson, on April 13, 2024 at 4:25 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 1 17

How long should vows be? Is there an unwritten rule/ etiquette base that I should know about? I do not want to make them short as if I am not putting in enough effort nor do I want to make them too long and people start checking the time. I have notes to keep going so I am not worried about what to say, just need to know how long winded can I be?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Johnson, on April 22, 2024 at 9:16 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I think between 1 to 2 minutes would be an ideal length for wedding vows.
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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated August 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Ours were about 2 minutes long. You should talk about it with your fiancee so they are about the same length of time.
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  • Mason
    Beginner January 2026
    Mason ·
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    Yeah, I think 2 minutes should be enough.

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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Don't forget the wedding wire article on the vows

    How to Write Wedding Vows: A Procrastinator’s Guide (weddingwire.com)

    If you want to express more than a couple minutes of memories and commitments, you can do it is a letter form. That would also help to recall your sentiments for anniversaries too.

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  • Andrea
    Rockstar January 2024
    Andrea ·
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    Mine were right at 2 minutes when I practiced them, and I ended up cutting a little out in the moment because it felt too long!
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    1 minute is plenty. Most people don’t realize how long that actually is. Test it out with talking slowly/normally and time it with the stopwatch on your phone.


    Many people also forget that most of the examples seen online are actually love letters and there are little to no actual promises to each other. What you love about your person is not a promise to them, and is better written in a card. That will ease alot of anxiety on its own. Focus on the promises and cut the rest. Use the standard “do you take this person as your (husband/wife) to love and support in all things” as a guideline. I’ve also read online that some couples want to skip vows entirely (including anything generic) and say them before the ceremony because they are not comfortable sharing them in front of their loved ones, because they are focused on the love letter part which are not vows. In a number of jurisdictions, that’s not legal because some type of vows and consent must be spoken during the ceremony itself. Also guests will be confused if that part is skipped.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    Mine were almost 3 minutes (about a page) and my husband's were about 1 minute. I tend to be a wordy writer, so it was perfect for us, but for others, I don't recommend you go over a page.
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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    That is a good good point. I would hate to be the one that is having people take a nap in the middle of the ceremony. Thank you for that suggestion, I will have to speak with FH about that asap.

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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    I wouldn't have a problem writing a page about how much I love, promise, and vow to him but speaking for 3 minutes and in front of people makes nervous. I am wondering if I will be okay with a minutes or two.

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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    You'll be fine. That's standard! My husband isn't super comfortable with public speaking either, so his were about a minute.
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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    Okay I would rather work with a 1 minute of speaking in front of people than 2. I will take your advice on speaking slowly/normal, hopefully that makes it longer.

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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    Thank you I am going to need this.

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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Sure.

    For other people reading these threads, check the links that appear under your thread when you also read other people's contributions. Here is one other link but there may be more

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/unique-wedding-vows-examples

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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    WOW I had no idea those were there. Thank you again!

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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    Update: I sat down with FH and spoke with him about writing our vows and timing ourselves so we would have about the same length. So he went down into the garage to write and time his self and I went up to our room and start timing myself. I didn’t want to add anything until I knew the length of his.
    Shortly after he walks into the room and says he’s done. I looked at him and he looked at me, I ask how long you have. He said 30 seconds how about you, I said 30 seconds 😂 so I tell him I think it needs to be longer he replies why and says who? Not wanting to say the women on wedding wire, I paused, so he tells me he doesn’t see a problem with our vows and it seems like we are equally yoked. #FHapproved.
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  • Heather
    Dedicated October 2024
    Heather ·
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    Hah, I love that!

    Indeed, it's not our standards that are most important. First and foremost, it's you two coming to agreeance. If it's 30 seconds each, put a stamp on it and call it a done deal. It's kismet.

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  • Mrs. Johnson
    Dedicated May 2024
    Mrs. Johnson ·
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    Yes! That’s the important part! It is about us and our agreement with god.
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