Am i selfish for hating my honeymoon and wanting a redo?

Did your husband not have family that could watch the child?

View Quoted Comment He does - she caused a lot of unnecessary problems and threatened legal action if we let him stay or travel with any family member other than us two. She lives out of state, meaning we would’ve had to fly him across the country back to her ourselves and waste days of our wedding time doing so. At the time, we didn’t want to give in to this.


This is something we can fight in the future but ultimately could not work out prior to the wedding due to time constraints with court.

View Quoted Comment Oh yes. I just looked back and saw you did post about this before. What's confusing though is before you said it was 12 year old stepdaughter and now you're saying it's your 13 year old stepson 🤔

View Quoted Comment Yes nice detective work, trying to keep it somewhat anonymous obviously. Ooh - you got me, I forgot what age and gender I used last time 🙄

Nope. Nope nope nope.
You’re absolutely not being selfish for being disappointed and wanting a honeymoon redo. Heck, I wouldn’t even call it a redo, because what you had was NOT a honeymoon-it was a family vacation.

View Quoted Comment Also I’m not the one who’s been married since 2019 but is still trolling wedding forums…

View Quoted Comment To help give advice to other brides. Didn't realize that was a problem. I was just confused about your stepchild since it was not consistent info. Anyway I do understand being disappointed and wishing things went differently. Is your husband open to redoing your honeymoon with just the two of you? Maybe even just a long weekend somewhere.

View Quoted Comment Ok, I was totally on your side, and feeling sympathetic to your situation, until I read this comment. This was beyond rude, unnecessary, and against WeddingWire rules. In no way did it seem like Veronica was trying to “catch you” in a lie (or whatever it is you think she was attempting to do). It sounds as though there were some massive inconsistencies in your posts, which will naturally be confusing. For instance, after reading about a stepdaughter, then reading about a stepson,
Perhaps she thought there was more than one child involved? It’s important to make sure you are understanding the poster’s situation in order to be able to give them the advice they are seeking. I find it odd how defensive and paranoid you got by her comment.
And this forum thrives on the advice of people who are married! There are people on here who have been married 10+ years! These people can give insight into questions about married life, which people who are just planning their wedding could never give. It’s also quite helpful to have people of all ages (we have brides in their teens all the way up to their 70s on this form!) to offer advice from a different perspective.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing your opinion.

View Quoted Comment

I did wonder if there were more than one step-child involved. OP's old posts weren't that long ago.

OP your comment about long time married people on this forum was inappropriate and out of line for all the reasons Cece listed. I have no issue with fudging some unimportant details in the interest of anonymity, it's your reaction to being questioned about it that was overreactive and unkind. It even begs the question of whether your H's ex-wife has her reasons to be uncooperative.

Putting all that aside, I thought you were planning to cancel the honeymoon, though I imagine that would have been difficult being that you had already invited the family to stay for a week on your dime. Would your parents have had to leave after the wedding if they had been allowed to take your step-child home?

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing your opinion.

View Quoted Comment

Wow. That seems unfair.

Did you expect your new husband to abandon the child alone in a hotel room in a foreign country or a domestic tourist spot? Age 13 is still an emotional and physically vulnerable age to leave alone around strangers.

Accept that you married a responsible Dad and his duties are beyond your control. Doesn't take away that you deserve some quiet time to celebrate your marriage. Hope he makes a plan soon.

Nope, I’m not even having mine bring his children to our wedding just to avoid the bitter ex all together. Definitely wouldn’t bring them on a honey moon. Nope

View Quoted Comment Yeah, after that quick bite of a response, I immediately got the thought that maybe OP has been snippy with ex-wife to give her reason why she doesn't want her child traveling alone with OP's family members.


That said, OP, you do deserve a real honeymoon, but if vacation time or finances are an issue, maybe wait a few months and start suggesting to your husband about an "anniversary" trip. That way you're not on his case about "re-doing" a honeymoon his son/daughter was on, and you can plan it so that his child won't be around at all.

View Quoted Comment Inappropriate. Many people here give advice from life and wedding planning experience. You're lucky you got Veronica who is much more compassionate than me.


You'll never be alone with your spouse and the child will take priority over you even if living in another home. This is the truth of marrying a parent. Even more, you are now a parent adjacent.

I mean... it's your stepchild... your husband is going to prioritize them before you always (or at least they should). I think you need to accept that you now have a teenager and that a vacation between just you and your husband may not happen until the child turns 18.

Hi Ellie,


No you're absolutely not selfish for wanting to redo a honeymoon since you'll have your entire life to watch your new child and this is literally your HONEYMOON. Definitely look into having a redo!

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't say she will NEVER be alone with her spouse cause it's still important to have dates, work on your love, and build with each other even after marriage. Their child will eventually grow up and start their own life. Idk how you look at marriage but it's important to still make it a priority even after the wedding and after having kids. There's no problem with her wanting alone time with her new husband and redoing her honeymoon.🤷‍♀️


Either way, I think you all are taking her response waaaayyyy too personally. It probably threw her off having someone research her past posts, questioning the gender of her child and whether she has one, two or 15 new stepchildren doesn't really pertain to her initial question. I would be a little creeped out too.
If it offended Veronica, let Veronica handle it. Let's stop ganging up on one person for one comment since that can reflect negatively on the opinion of this platform 🙂

You deserve a redo.I Absolutely believe that was not the time to make it a family affair and some other arrangements should've been made on your husband's part.Maybe he should plan a romantic weekend d getaway with just the two of you to semi make up for the misfortune events.