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Just Said Yes September 2023

Advice on not feeling bad for not inviting people??

Sarah, on July 22, 2023 at 9:08 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3

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It’s happened a couple times where more distant friends/good acquaintances will ask me about the wedding when I see them at events & I just clam up bc I feel guilty that I didn’t invite them. I always say something vague about how it’ll be small. But then I feel guilty bc it’s not exactly going to be small. Mostly family but a chunk will be his friends & my friends as well.

Obviously I simply cannot invite everyone. Fiancé already wanted to elope but caved on having a full wedding bc I really wanted it so making it much bigger isn’t fair to him, also the chapel literally cannot hold more than 120 guests (current invite list is 108).
No one has flat out asked if they could come, they all have just asked how it’s going/what my plan is out of genuine care for me. I’ve literally been so awkward around ppl not invited to the wedding whenever it comes up & I’m so tired of it.
Some people would be invited if we had a bigger guest list. Those are the ones I feel worst about when it comes up because I *could* add them to the guest list but I’m not as close to them which is why they were cut when we narrowed things down.
What does everyone do in these scenarios? I hate how I get so uncomfortable in these convos but I just don’t know what to say.

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Latest activity by Kimberly, on July 24, 2023 at 9:20 AM

CM · on July 22, 2023 at 9:42 PM
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"Small" is relative. There's nothing wrong with saying exactly what you've been saying when and if the subject comes up. It's not just your side of the family. 120 guests divided up between you, your FI and your families is by necessity going to require you keep the list to immediate family and your closest friends. People will understand and get it. Please don't feel guilty.
If you want to be really sensitive, avoid posting info or photos on social media, both before and after, especially photos of the reception that show who was there.
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Rockstar July 2022
Lisa Online · on July 22, 2023 at 9:50 PM
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If anyone asks about an invitation to your wedding (when you didn't plan to invite them), you could respond with something like, "We had to limit our guest list because of venue capacity, so unfortunately we weren't able to include everyone that we wanted to." Most people should be understanding of this. Even if you technically have room to include them, there's no need to feel guilty about leaving them off the guest list, because you have to draw the line somewhere. Also, I agree with the previous comment about avoiding posting specific wedding details (date/time/location) on social media before the wedding.
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Super September 2023
Kimberly · on July 24, 2023 at 9:20 AM
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Some people just really love weddings/hearing about other people’s weddings. It’s one thing if you’re trying to tell people about your plans when they’re not invited, but people who just think it’s exciting and want to hear all the details are just making conversation. Some people are just big wedding people (you know, the “I love love” types lol). I wouldn’t feel guilty about not inviting them, and others have suggested good responses for if anyone does ask.
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Advice on not feeling bad for not inviting people??

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