Adopting kids

No advice, but congratulations!

View Quoted Comment Maybe they can be the junior bridesmaid and the junior groomsman. Thank you so much

I would ask them what they would like to do (maybe offer them a "menu" of choices so they aren't put on the spot to come up with ideas). They are the perfect age to have some agency, especially since they are new to your family.

I would probably hold off on assigning any sort of role in your wedding. It would be one thing if these were children in your family or already in your custody, but since you don’t even know how old one of them is, I am assuming that is not the case. Being adopted and having to acclimate to a new home, family, life, etc. can be extremely traumatic and difficult. There is a chance these children may not feel comfortable participating in a wedding for people they hardly know. Not to mention standing on display in front of people they don’t know at all. I would just focus on supporting them and making the transition as comfortable as possible for them. You can bring up the possibility of them participating in the wedding once the time gets closer (but leave it up to them and don’t pressure!)

View Quoted Comment I second all of this. They may not even be comfortable to attend the wedding with a bunch of strangers

View Quoted Comment Do you think they can sit next to my mom

View Quoted Comment I agree with everything Cece said. How far in advance of the wedding will they be joining your household? If it's right before the wedding, check with both kids to see if they feel comfortable attending the wedding. If not, don't force them to attend. If they would like to attend, I think your mom would be a good choice for them to sit by, assuming that they will have met her long before the wedding day! Like Cece said, as time gets closer, you could certainly give them the option of also participating in the wedding (maybe a family unity ceremony?), but I would leave that up to them and where their comfort level is.

View Quoted Comment They should sit with whomever makes them the most comfortable.

I would make that call awhile from now, and honestly I'd ask them what they would like to do. They are old enough to make that choice.

Congrats!

Hi Congratulations on the upcoming wedding and on the Adoption on you 2 children. Your son can be a ring guard with the briefcase and your daughter can be your junior bride or a flower girl but which you girls choose to make sure they feel apart.