8 year engagement?

Agreed with above, if that isn't what you want you need to talk to him about it. You don't need a ton of disposable income to have a wedding. Would you rather have the wedding you can afford now to make sure your important family members can make it? Or would you rather wait and have a larger party down the road potentially without them.

You know where your priorities lie, you need to talk more to your fiance about it and try to figure out a plan that makes both of you happy. An 8 year engagment is extremely too long in my opinion. I'd go crazy waiting to plan for that long.

It really doesn't sound like he wants to get married. I'm kind of in the mindset of "don't propose if you're not ready to go through with it."

8 seems pretty excessive, to me. There's a lot that can go on in those years that you might as well be just 'dating', imo. While I'm all for longer engagements, I think there's a point where it gets kinda crazy. Shoot, I've been with my FH for almost 9 and I get married next week, but we didn't announce until December 25, 2018. He didn't even propose, we both came to the conclusion that we were ready and in a financially sound enough (not perfect) position, to get married. Even if you have all the right variables, stuff will happen that will set it awry -- the fact that he seems to be waiting for that "perfect" moment... it'll never really happen, imo.

Heck, when we announced my Aunt had got get a double masectomy not too long after because of breast cancer, then in February 2019 -- my Dad almost passed away from a rare autoimmune disease we didn't know about, then my Mom had open heart surgery in April & the same day she got out of the hospital -- I got in a bad car wreck that totalled my car and broke my hand, then 3 weeks before the wedding on September 16th -- my FH Maternal Grandfather passed away.

There is no 'right' time or 'financially sound' time. We assumed that everything was going to go with zero issues and that we'd have a lot of disposable income, but it wasn't really the case. Things change all the time and it's not like I planned any of this after I got engaged (we'd already set our date back in September of 2018 and kept it secret until Christmas).

If I could have done this differently and if I could have predicted life, I would have gotten married last year or the year before. I wouldn't have waited like I did, as I have a lot of regret for things I couldn't control -- like my FH grandfather's passing less than a month ago. You'll never be able to know what to expect day-to-day and I think it's best if you talk to him and explain your vision and see if you two can compromise. I don't think you'll be happy, elsewise.

To me, eight years is a super long engagement. To echo what PPs said, I'd definitely have a serious discussion with your FH. He needs to respect your feelings!

Our engagement will have been 2 years and 2 months when we get married next year! And I thought that was forever! I agree with PPs, talk with FH. There is no perfect time to get married, and if you wait until you're financially more stable, you may never get married (not saying you won't be successful in your business, I think you will!) because things come up unexpectedly all the time!

Have you let him know all the things you are concerned about? If you have and he still isn't about it, then the talk needs to become more serious I would say. Express how you feel, tell him to put himself in your shoes and walk in them a bit. Maybe he'll change his mind.

I had a 4 and a half year engagement. I was still in college when he proposed and he was working 3 part time jobs so we waited until we both got good jobs and could afford a wedding and start off marriage on the right foot financially. I definitely understand having a long engagement to better your financial circumstances but 8 years is excessive and unnecessary, so I'd definitely discuss a better timeline.

As far as the wait goes, for me, it wasn't that hard because we knew we'd get married once we achieved our goals. I knew my graduation date and I had a job lined up so I knew my goals would be met. We started officially planning once we were engaged for 3 years and I started my job and he found a better job. I actually enjoyed planning so the year and a half of planning was exciting.

"Having more disposable income" isn't really an achievable goal because everyone always feels like they could have more disposable income... Instead, sit down and figure out how much per month you can save for a wedding (look at your budget and see if there's anywhere you guys can make cut backs) and let that help you determine when you can have your wedding.

I'd definitely talk to your fiance. Not me but my brother and sister in law had a 6 year engagement and currently one of FHs friends has been engaged for 5 years with no date in mind yet. He wants to get married but his fiance doesn't yet (I think she is using him and will leave him which is why she hasn't committed yet:/ but thats not my business). It should be a real talk on realistic expectations. I get where hes coming from but 5 more years is quite a bit and definitely something you guys need to be on the same page for.