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Lauren
Just Said Yes October 2014

2 sisters in law... do they both have to be in the wedding party?

Lauren, on May 14, 2014 at 3:52 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 22

I have 2 SIL... I'm very close with one, not very close with the other. The one I'm close with I consider a friend, we hang out all the time, go to concerts together, etc. The other one we only see each other @ family gatherings. I want to keep my bridal party small (I almost considered not having one at all). I really want the sil I'm close with to be a bridesmaid. If it's going to cause drama, I'd rather have neither than feel obligated to have both, but I feel the one I'm close with would be hurt if she wasn't in it. My fiance won't be having my brothers by his side, and I wouldn't expect him to because they're not close in that way. Anyone else in this situation?

22 Comments

Latest activity by Katlyn, on March 10, 2024 at 11:07 AM
  • WalkerGirl
    Super August 2014
    WalkerGirl ·
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    I wasn't asked to be in my brother's wedding because my sister-in-law didn't want to have a big party, and I am still hurt to this day. I don't know the details behind your wedding party, but proceed with caution.

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  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
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    I think, barring any serious issue like estrangement, siblings should always be included in the bridal party. I know DH was hurt and felt left out when he wasn't asked to be a GM in his sister's wedding.

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  • Mel W
    Expert March 2014
    Mel W ·
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    You have no obligation to have someone in your bridal party that you don't want to. It does not matter if is family. Im assuming everyone are adults so if someone is hurt over it, they will get over it. Good luck, hopefully no drama happens.

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  • Laura
    Master November 2013
    Laura ·
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    I don't think siblings have to be included at all. If the two of you are close, then I imagine the other SIL realizes that, and would hopefully be understanding. I would definitely have something else for her to do though, so she does feel like a part of the day, i.e. do a reading during the ceremony or something.

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  • Kathleen
    Devoted March 2015
    Kathleen ·
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    My older sister's getting married as well, and she included her two FSILs as bridesmaids... even though one is close to 40! I think if you want to be on your future family's good side, it might be a good idea to include his siblings. I'm including my FH's younger sisters: one as a bridesmaid (she's 21) and the other one as a flower girl (she's like 5).

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  • Leanne
    VIP April 2017
    Leanne ·
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    I have 2 sisters in law who both "married in" like I am. I am close with one and not the other. I won't be asking either though. I know it would cause drama if I asked the one and not the other. I wasn't part of either their bp and I wasn't hurt.

    Fh won't be asking either of my brothers and that is totally cool too.

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  • Antoinette
    VIP April 2021
    Antoinette ·
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    My opinion is ask the one u close to if thats who u want. Its who u would want to stand up with u. Like u said your brother isnt gonna be in the wedding party.

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  • mscountry
    Master July 2014
    mscountry ·
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    I have 2 sisters in law and they will be in the wedding. I am close to the one since I helped her plan her wedding so she's a bridesmaid. The other is a flower girl she is only 3 so it's not like we are very close since she is so young.

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  • S
    Super May 2014
    Soon to be a Mrs! ·
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    I feel that if you invite one to be in the party you need to invite the other. It is fairly standard to have the siblings in the wedding party. Especially since your brothers are going to be standing up with your FH, it may be strange not to include his sisters. His family will talk.

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  • JulyBride
    Super July 2014
    JulyBride ·
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    Personally i think blood-related family should always be included in the wedding party

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  • Jamie
    Devoted September 2015
    Jamie ·
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    I am in the same boat.....except I have 3 Fsils! They are all a few years older than us and have kids. I don't want a huge bridal party and already have my 5 closest girls for my bridesmaids (2 being my sisters, 3 being my childhood bfs). But then I feel bad because I was a bridesmaid in 2 of their weddings. Not that I don't want them in my wedding party at all....but that's 8 bridesmaids!

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  • KayDwitWill
    Master May 2015
    KayDwitWill ·
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    There are no obligations. We included no family in our wedding except my niece as aFG and his nephew as the RB.

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  • Stephanie
    Master November 2014
    Stephanie ·
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    I don't think you're obligated to ask both if you ask one (nor do I think you're obligated to ask either of them just because they're future in-laws). I think this is a case where you need to know your audience. For example, I was upset that my ex-sister-in-law asked my sister to be a bridesmaid but not me, but it was because of other family politics (I didn't actually want to be a bridesmaid).

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  • Kendyl
    Devoted May 2014
    Kendyl ·
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    I have one fsil in the wedding and one not. The one that isn't is 15 and threw a huge fit but she was being a brat , so even if her age was appropriate (in my opinion, I didbt was junior bridesmaids but that's just me ) Iwouldnt have wanted her in. U can just ask the one , but be prepared for all of the stress that will come from it :/ it sucks , I know.

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  • serenity523
    Super June 2014
    serenity523 ·
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    I have my SIL (my brother's wife) as one of my BMs. However, my actual sister and FSIL are not BMs. I talk to and see my SIL on a very frequent basis (and I was one of her BMs and her daughter is my FG). I don't really talk to my sister and I'm not close with FSIL.

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  • Chasity
    VIP June 2015
    Chasity ·
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    It is fairly common in FH family for some of them to be included in bridal parties and not others granted there are 7 of them. For my wedding 1 of his sisters and 1 of his brothers are in the wedding and none of the others are. Then for one of his sisters I am in the wedding and he isn't. It is all about family dynamics.

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  • Annie
    Devoted September 2014
    Annie ·
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    Almost but not quite, I have to brothers they both married and they both coming out in the wedding. My SIL are too coming out, both are MOH. I have a sil I am close too, we went to high school together, we did everything, we are close. I was her MOH at her wedding. The other sil and I aren't even close and she lives a house over. I always dream of having both my brothers in my wedding. My FH is an only child and both his parents passed on. He never kept contact with his family, my brother is going to be his best man. My other brother will be coming out with his wife. I do regret, you can ask the one your closer to. Its your wedding, if they don't understand they are one with the problem. (I have should of thought of it before asking the one near me, I wouldn't be going thru so much. Avoid it don't feel obligated choose one)

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  • Christina
    Devoted April 2014
    Christina ·
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    I have 6 brothers and I'm the only girl. I would be offended if my brothers future wedding didn't include me. But hey that's just me.

    My husband doesn't have any sisters so that worked out for me

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  • Brittany
    Super June 2014
    Brittany ·
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    The only sibling that is in our wedding is my 11 year old sister. I have a FSIL & and my own sister who aren't in the wedding, my brother is playing guitar as I walk down the aisle but he's not a groomsmen. I asked FH if he would make him one, he said no. He doesn't have anything against him they just aren't close. Had he put my brother on his side, I would have added his sister. I was in my sisters wedding, but I was a last minute add because someone dropped out so I didn't feel obligated to put her in mine, and I wouldn't be offended if my brothers gf chose not to put me in their wedding should they get married in the future. All I expect is an invite. All that being said, I would talk to FH first and ask if he thinks the sister you aren't close with would be offended if you asked the other to be in the wedding and not her. If she would you might just be better off not asking either, if not I say go for it!

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  • L
    VIP September 2014
    LSC_sf ·
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    I wouldn't be offended but my brother and sister aren't in mine so that's probably why. We are all adults and my sister has two kids (one is the RB). We talked about it and she was relieved not to be in it and my brother doesn't care. FH's sister is in our wedding but she will be standing on his side as a groomswoman since they are very close. Everyone is happy and fine with how our bridal party turned out.

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